A Playlist For When You’ve Done Enough

I feel both vulnerable and very excited to be sharing music that I like with you.

At the beginning of this calendar year, I noticed that I was craving something to help me wrap up my workdays and transition into my evenings. When I’m not on-site with clients, I mostly work from home. With an internet, computer, and phone-tethered job, I, like you, can often succumb to that feeling of being “on call.” At any moment, I could unlock my phone or open my laptop and do ‘just a little bit more work.’

Now, I like variety. I like that my days and weeks are full of conversations with different people from different industries making their homes all over the U.S. One of the challenges of my ever-changing portfolio is that sometimes I can struggle to feel “done” at the end of a workday or work week. It often feels like there is more. I could do more. I could stay at my desk a little longer.

Even if my inbox is zero or I’ve attended all my scheduled meetings, I have “to-dos.” I could work ahead, catch up, or make progress on one of my many projects that are months (not hours or days) long.

Do you resonate?

In addition to the ability to be ‘on call’ and to plug back in at any moment of the day or night, I also like my work. Not every moment. But most of the time. I find my work challenging, interesting, and full of fascinating connections and opportunities that stretch me. I like those feelings. I like having a sense of purpose, responsibility, and vocation.

Even so, I monitor my work and my feelings about it. Some seasons require surges in my attention, and there are days, weeks, and months that contain more margin.

I have goals related to balance, harmony, and living a well-rounded life. I am old enough that my body forces me to rest and pace myself.

Not long ago, I was on my weekly Thursday afternoon Zoom meetings with my good friend and fellow executive coach, Win. I mentioned my desire to find a better way to “close out” at the end of a day and week so that I could transition my energy and attention from work to other facets of my life.

Some people “close out” their kitchen at the end of the night – tidying up and resetting so they can start each morning fresh. Some people practice cool-downs at the end of strenuous workouts so that they can take care of their lungs, muscles, and minds. Some people – I’m thinking Mr. Rogers – change clothes to send a signal to their bodies that they’re moving on to their next role or phase in their days.

Win shared with me some learning he had done from a teacher about the power of ritual. On that Zoom, Win taught me that as he understood it, rituals can be especially powerful because they have an intention, a beginning, a middle, and an end.

I grew up familiar with religious rituals. Although I have cultivated some habits and routines over the years, I’m not sure I had ever considered creating a ritual for my work-to-life transition time each day.

What sprung to mind immediately was – MUSIC!

I love music—like, really love music. If you ever come over to my house, you will notice that I play music nearly all the time.

I just checked my Spotify account, and I currently have 1,258 “Liked Songs,” which I play in heavy rotation.

I believe it’s accurate to say that my music taste is eclectic. I like all sorts of different genres, eras, and musicians. I get into zones from time to time where I replay a new favorite. For me, music provides nearly instant transport into memories, feelings, and even bodily sensations.

Win, and I have a standing work date each week – so I told him I would try a “Close Out Ritual” to mark the end of my workdays.

 The intention of my ritual would be to signal to myself that I have checked and double-checked and am certain I have done enough work for today. Everything else can wait—at the very least—until tomorrow. I may be leaving some things unfinished, but that’s okay. What is not yet complete, I have plans to pick back up. I have documented my to-dos, feel on top of tomorrow’s calendar, and can now give myself permission to sign off.

 The start of my close-out ritual would be signaled with music! I would likely have already been listening to music, so I wanted to curate a special playlist (medium length) to choose from that would become the songs I associate with the feeling, “You did good today, Trina! You’ll try again tomorrow. Until then, go rest, play, connect, and do whatever else is calling you!”

 In the middle of my close-out ritual, I would literally stand up and pack my bits and bobs. I would use the length of one or two songs to put my notebook, pens, and computer cords back in their spots in my office. I would file any paperwork, return any throw blankets or tea mugs I’d hoarded throughout the day and shut down my computer.

 The end of my close-out ritual would be letting whatever song I was in the middle of come to a close and finish by dancing it out – my workday that is. Sometimes, while dancing, I re-cap the day I just had in my head; I try to locate touchstones of gratitude from my conversations and the people I talked to. If something was particularly hard that day, or annoyingly incomplete or unsuccessful, I also used the tempo and vibe of that final song to shake it out - literally. Flailing both my legs and arms.

On the first day of trying out this ritual, I attempted a ‘big finale’ type move—think' a majestic pirouette’ in my kitchen with my socks gliding gently across the wooden floor. In reality, I accidentally made myself dizzy (oops!). So, in the days that followed, I tried a range of other penultimate gesticulations, including a formal bow, deep curtsy, and something a bit more of the liturgical dance variety—think wiggly arm action.

I’m now weeks, bordering on a few months into this new end-of-workday practice. I like it! And I’ve added a few new things to the menu I can choose from when transitions are tougher some days than others.

- Sometimes, I keep the music going for the whole playlist, strip off my clothes, and get into a hot shower.

- On other days, I tie up my tennis shoes and walk out the door, leaving my work, quite literally, behind.

- I’ve sat in my favorite chair and read a fiction book from the library to help transition.

- I’ve chopped veggies and spent time in flow while cooking.

- I’ve called friends and family to hear about their days.

- And met up with people I like for dinner or drinks.

No matter what I do, doing something at the end of my day to quiet my work mind and signal to myself that I’ve done enough has proven valuable. I don’t “clock out,” and I don’t have a commute home. So, if you’re seeking a similar transitional ritual, I hope this playlist will speak to you!

In no particular order, here is my current playlist entitled “Close Out Ritual Songs”

 “the photosynthesis of healing” - Emory Hall, Trevor Hall

 “Just for Us” – Francis and the Lights

 “It’ll Be Better” – Francis and the Lights

 “come sit by my garden” – Emory Hall, Trevor Hall

 “Joyful Motherfuckers” – Allison Russell

 “i have been a thousand different women” – Emory Hall, Trevor Hall

 “Future Friends” – Superfruit

 “Idioteque” – Radiohead

 “Nina Cried Power (feat. Mavis Staples)” – Hozier, Mavis Staples

 “Wona” – Mumford & Sons, Baaba Maal, The Very Best & Beatenberg

 “Now I’m In It – Bonus Track” – HAIM

 “Cherry Flavored Stomach Ache” – HAIM

 “don’t wanna be machine” – Trevor Hall

 “Highwomen” – The Highwomen, Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby, Maren Morris, Amanda Shires, Yola

 “Redesigning Women” – The Highwomen, Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby, Maren Morris, Amanda Shires

 “When I Get My Hands On You” – The New Basement Tapes

 “Kansas City” – The New Basement Tapes

 “Honor Your Goals” – Petit Biscuit

 “Next Year (feat. Windser” – Macklemore, Windser

 “Song for Zula” – Phosphorescent

 “Muchacho’s Tune” – Phosphorescent

 “I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free” – John Legend, The Roots

 “Eloise” – Penny and Sparrow

 “Ring the Bells” – Johnnyswim, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors

 “White Flag” – JOSEPH

 “Ain’t No Man” – The Avett Brothers

 “Man on Fire” – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

(You can find my playlist on Spotify here or copy and paste any of the songs into YouTube to check them out)

A few notes to enhance your playlist experience:

- This playlist is approximately 1 hour and 30 minutes – I hop around, starting at whatever song looks pleasing at that moment, and I also put it on shuffle quite a bit

- If you are hard of hearing, deaf, or music is not your thing – I recommend checking out the lyrics of a few songs in particular: “i have been a thousand different women,” “Nina Cried Power,” “Ring the Bells”

- Depending on your mood – I like “Idiotique” for when I’m angry, “Ring the Bells” and “White Flag” for when I’m feeling defiant and hopeful, and “Eloise” and “Song for Zula” when I need something gentle

- Some fun little nuggets about the musicians and/or songs:

o Francis and the Lights used to crash in Eau Claire with Justin Vernon – lead singer of Bon Iver, because they are friends, and Justin thought his friend would find Wisconsin restorative

o Johnnyswim is the couple/band that sings the theme song “Home” on HGTV’s Fixer Upper

o There’s a great documentary about The Avett Brothers that I highly recommend

o Penny and Sparrow have a haunting song called Fantine, which is based on the Les Miserables character and storyline – type in Penny and Sparrow Paris Fantine for my favorite live rendition currently available on the internet

o JOSEPH is a band of three sisters, and they do an incredible duet with Penny and Sparrow that is virtually acapella and knocks my socks off called Double Heart – watch/listen; it may change your life ;)

o Emory Hall is a poet, and I have one of her poems currently hanging up in my bedroom; she is married to Trevor Hall, and I went to see him at Red Rocks in Colorado two springs ago, and it was magical

o Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Man on Fire [Official Video] might be my favorite music video of all time

o Allison Russell is singing with her husband on the track in my playlist. She is a Canadian singer-songwriter, musician, and activist whom I adore! I first became aware of her because she has sung with Brandi Carlisle on more than one occasion. Please, please, please take six minutes and 50 seconds to watch their live performance together along with Allison’s all-female band at the Americana Honors and Awards in 2022. I want to wear all their outfits! The message of this song knocks me out! It makes me feel like we are surrounded by superheroes, knowing there are musicians like this in the world offering their gifts to us.

Next week, on this journey to write 52 Essays in 52 Weeks, I will share an essay about creativity. This week, thank you for reading and listening. Music buoys me. I hope this does the same for you!

Gratefully,