Spring Break Series: Whose Holidays??

Welcome back to the Spring Break Series – my five-week deep dive into America’s strange approach to Paid Time Off.

Today’s topic is holidays. The key question is: whose holidays?

Holidays at work can feel sticky pretty fast because, well…religion. “But I thought there was a separation of church and state?!” you may be thinking. I hear ya. The truth? Congress starts each day with a prayer. So, let’s get real.

The reason religion/faith is a featured room in Team Dynamics’ Embodied Identity House is because religion is most certainly a difference that makes the difference here.

The big three monotheistic religions: Islam, Judaism, and Christianity each come with their own assumptions, stereotypes, and tropes about their followers. How moral are you? How hard-working are you? How God-fearing are you? You get my point.

As you likely know, religiosity has been on the decline in the U.S. for a couple generations. Less folks are going to church. Less folks are saying they strictly adhere to one religious doctrine or another. Many folks now identify as “spiritual” rather than religious. Plus, we now live in an era where it is okay to essentially come out as agnostic or not religious without fear of total persecution.

So why do we have to deal with religion at work? Because currently ONE faith tradition is running our national calendars. This includes our calendars at work.

It is important we recognize and acknowledge that U.S. cultural norms are centered around Christianity. When I say cultural, it doesn’t necessarily mean there is a strong religiosity. Culture is patterns of thinking and behavior. Here, currently, it is the norm to have Christmas trees at malls and airports and that the Christian calendar be respected in most workplaces.

Here’s what’s true about our 300-million-person population, though – WE ARE A MULTI-RELIGIOUS COUNTRY.

That means we have an opportunity to operate at work in ways that honor the reality of our mixed religiosity.

I mentioned “the big three” religions already, but of course that leaves out Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, Taoism and more. You’ll notice there is a racial component here – many of these traditions being practiced across Asia. And in North America, most white people don’t have readily available vocabulary for acknowledging polytheistic, animistic, or shamanistic belief systems of the Indigenous people’s whose land we now occupy.

One quick story before we pivot to better solutions for dealing with holidays at work. I still remember with stunning clarity being in a board room at a downtown Minneapolis hotel with Alfonso in the very early days of Team Dynamics. Picture it, we were getting ready to talk and Alfonso had just made me eat what he called “an emergency panna cotta” because I told him I hadn’t had breakfast yet and was feeling faint. It was a good call. And delicious if my memory still serves me.

We were working with a regional board of directors; folks had driven and flown in from multiple states. We got into our groove and were teaching our Embodied Identity House model one room at a time. As a pair of facilitators, we would highlight where we were different and why that mattered from room to room.

A hand shot up in the air. We called on one of the board members. He exclaimed, upon finding out that Alfonso was Catholic, and I was raised Protestant, that if I ever went to church with Alfonso, I wouldn’t be allowed to take communion.

Whoa! Hold on there partner, I thought. Let’s not excommunicate me just yet!

We took a deep breath and said something to the effect of, “Well gosh, that would be true that Catholic vs. Protestant back in 1555 would have been a very big deal. But here, now, currently, we’re lumped together as Christians, and that Christianity is currently the U.S.’s preferred religion. So, you’re right, I may be denied communion. But it’s highly unlikely I’d be denied a job.”

That was a close one! I felt like Madonna after her “Like a Prayer” music video got the Pope all hot and bothered.

Friends, here’s the truth. We have the internet. We have friends. We know better than to ignore reality.

When we choose to consciously go back to our goals, a better, more equitable path forward often becomes clear. Why do we give time off at work? We have PTO because rest and restoration means that our workers can work even better! And, ideally, we are also living and leading in alignment with our values which might include things like work-life balance, community care, and generosity.

I have a whole podcast episode from the first seasons of BEHAVE you can listen to called “High Holy Days” If you have people at your organization you feel you need to convince in order to make the policy and cultural changes necessary regarding Holidays, you are welcome to share the episode and use it as a jumping off point for wise next moves.

My recommendation, and my counsel is consistent on this score, is DO AWAY WITH A HOLIDAY LIST, instead LET PEOPLE USE THEIR PTO FOR WHATEVER THEY NEED IT FOR – that may or may not include days that honor or commemorate religious or nationalistic practices.

Why is this what I recommend to my clients? Because if you ever have a list of holidays, you are going to be LEAVING IMPORTANT DAYS OUT. And that feels like shit for people who have deep ties to certain dates. Having a list of days off that does not include their core dates will feel like none of the rest of us notice, get it, or care.

No, simply adding Juneteenth is not good enough ;) I’ve seen folks try.

It is self-centered to declare that “our dates matter the most.” Whomever the “our” is in this scenario. Holidays can serve as a kind of cultural in-grouping and out-grouping that feels awful.

There is no value in arguing that the sun calendar is better than the moon calendar (think Christmas being on the 25th of December each year, but Ramadan and Yom Kippur shifting dates). There is also no value in arguing that everyone should feel festive during December because twinkle lights are pretty, and Mariah Carey put out some bangers.

In your policies, if you want to acknowledge the reality that your staff is very likely mixed across racial, ethnic, and religious traditions, knock yourself out! You could name that you are aware that different folks care about and celebrate things such as:

- Lunar New Year

- Eid

- Rosh Hashanah

- Day of the Dead

- Good Friday

- Solstice/Equinox

- LGBTQ+ Pride

and more!

Then you could go on to name that you’re well aware that each of us have different days in a calendar year that feel meaningful to us and a day off to celebrate or commemorate is one of the ways you are welcome to spend your PTO, for example:

- The date you became cancer free!

- Celebrating an adoption day

- The day before American Thanksgiving because the cooking is your favorite part

- An anniversary

- A birthday

- The date of someone’s passing

If you get any pushback, remind the people you work with the following:

 No one’s holidays are being taken away, on the contrary, this actually makes room for everyone to celebrate and commemorate dates that are meaningful to them.

 Banks, the government, or schools being closed is not the end of the world – we know when these dates are coming, and most of us are perfectly capable of doing our jobs while bank tellers are all out to eat somewhere. People figure out childcare. And if folks want to take those days off to match those industries – they can!

 “But we’ve always had this list of holidays!” Habit is not a good enough reason to keep things this way. You’ve likely been hurting feelings and making people uncomfortable this whole time – you just didn’t notice or care enough until now to do something to change it.

 You can figure out office coverage. If there is a time when a bunch of folks are planning to be out of the office – you can coordinate meetings, deadlines, and projects accordingly. Most of us don’t work in an ER so we don’t actually need to staff a desk 24/7.

Alright, so in this Spring Break Series, we’ve now covered an equitable approach to Paid Time Off generally, and have dug into Sick time and Holidays. Next Thursday I’ll tackle Vacation, followed by Bereavement leave.

If you’d like help re-writing your PTO policies and getting your decision-makers to approve them – let me know. I’d love to have your back! (trina@trinaolson.com)

Yours,